Stress reliever

 Irish Joaquin
 
Stress Reliever # 1

Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why ?  

Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.   

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?  

Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

 

Stress Reliever # 2

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.  

Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling, But I don’t have any worries or troubles.  

Girl: Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.

 

Stress Reliever # 3

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.  

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.  

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.

 

Stress Reliever # 4
Wife to husband: " What’s your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"
Husband to wife: " Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to husband: " What ? At 2 am ? "
Husband to wife: " Yes, We used night clubs."

 

Stress Reliever # 5

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?"  

 "Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I’d have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

 

Stress Reliever # 6

Father to son after exam: " Let me see your report card."  

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

 

Stress Reliever # 7

"How was your blind date ? " a college student asked her roommate.
" Terrible ! " the roommate answered.  

" He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce.
" Wow! That’s a very expensive car. What ‘s so bad about that? "  

He was the original owner."

 

Stress Reliever # 8

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..  

"My father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said another.  

Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."

 

Stress Reliever # 9

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? 
Millionaire:
I owe everything to my wife.  
I
nterviewer:  Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her ?

Millionaire: A Billionaire

 

Stress Reliever # 10

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.  

The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.OEPS

 

Stress Reliever # 11

A husband was asked: "Do you talk to your wife after sex?"  

He replied: "Depends, if I can find a phone." OMG

 

Stress Reliever # 12

Man to wife on wedding night: "Are you sure I’m the first man you are sleeping with ?"

Wife replied: "Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others !"

 

Stress Reliever # 13

 "Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S.?"  

 Answer: "Because people started licking the wrong side."YEAH HEHE

 

Stress Reliever # 14

A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me – my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humour."

 

Stress Reliever # 15

Doctor to his lady patient: "You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?"

Lady replied: "Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.
WHAT A WOMAN  hehe

 

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11 Responses to Stress reliever

  1. Tida says:

    That’s really funny Sweeti..:) I like all dialogues you put above..hihi..glad to be back on the net sometimes..wish you a (late) Happy New Year…;) Take care and have a wonderful day;)

  2. MA'... says:

    CIAOOOOOOOOOOOOO!CHEERS FROM ITALY AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

  3. Vijay says:

    Hey Sweeti,Sure you can add me to your blog. Your post rocks….and has me ROTFLMAO :)Vijay

  4. Golfing Lady says:

    How romantic of the young man’s proposal. I wish them many blessings and much happiness.Your stress relievers were very cute. made me laugh.Hugz,Pat

  5. Kiran says:

    Sweeti! u bet these are damn funny!!!!! lolz……… :)) hey! u have a great day! 🙂

  6. Shawn SKC says:

    Sis, good day to you.. wow.. that was a very good jokes around : this is the best joke "Doctor to his lady patient: "You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?"Lady replied: "Doctor, I thought you said three males a day." .. That is funny…Hope to see more funny jokes on your blog.. Have a nice day..Love you,Your Brother…Shawn

  7. Stav says:

    Hey ! I wish you have a great new year full of happiness!

  8. gopal says:

    I got my stress relievers in my mail today 😉 ummmmm 🙂

  9. Angel in Disguize says:

    hiyaaaaaaaaaaaa… u cannn use anythin want in my site…:D hav funn 😉 u dnt hav to ask me hehe.. byyee tccccccc……….

  10. Jacqui's says:

    Hey sweeti..Don’t worry. I stopped being mad at him a long time ago, and I explained to him even I lose stuff. I didn’t punish him or anything…I figured losing his toy was punishment enough. This will definitely be a lesson. Hugs,Jacqui

  11. Jitender says:

    Hhehe. Good ones.

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